Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
