your parents love me but you hate me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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