They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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