it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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