Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
