I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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