I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
