The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
