I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize