? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
