Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
