Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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