Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
