I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so let's talk penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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