I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
