you have to choose: penises or morals?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
