she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
