I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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