Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
