and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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