Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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