I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
