My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize