i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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