So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
