Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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