So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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