think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
