i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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