I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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