dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
