Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
