I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
