how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
