I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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