I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Boobs speak an international language.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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