At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
