So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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