I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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