how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
