He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
