He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
