I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she told me i tasted like america
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
