I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
God, I missed his penis.
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