dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
