just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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