he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
