He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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