Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

Fav 12 4183 1220
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(727): View more from Florida

You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear

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(281): View more from Texas

Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

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(312): View more from Illinois

My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.

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(+45): View more from Denmark

I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.

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(254): View more from Texas

Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap

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