He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
