I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
