apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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