im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
