she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
