I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
