Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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