dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
