But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i came on her dog
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
