I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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