what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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