Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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